Project Maitrigram, The Slum

My first full week has been one for the books. Being an intern with Maitri has already taught me so much about others, myself and everything in-between. Whether I am in the office or out at a project site, I am always learning something new. Recently, I was able to visit the project Maitrigram in a slum of New Delhi. Upon arriving at the site, I was greeted with warm hands and many smiling faces. Within the project, Maitri provides education in topics that are believed to be the most essential for future employment opportunities like math, English and Hindi. I was able to meet a group of older students who had become involved with the organization to help set a career path for their futures. These students had been attending job fairs in hopes to land an occupation in a field where knowing English is of value. Five of these students were able to receive employment, and it seemed to have meant a great deal to them. The other students who were unable to receive a job didn't just quit there. They were going to be attending a job fair the next weekend with the same hopes as the previous five.
 

I was then able to meet the younger children who come for their basic education skills. The youth were of all ages and were ready to learn. There was even a very little three year old girl who had her pencil and paper in her hands and was paying very close attention to the teacher. I was then able to  have a conversation with them in English, and I was quite surprised at what they already knew! I told them my favorite word, which is hope, and their teacher asked them if they knew what it meant. None of the children did, so she explained it to them in Hindi and then had them repeat the word multiple times. It is so humbling to see children wanting and enjoying to learn. We then taught them duck, duck, goose, and I believe they thought it was pretty exciting. Following that, I saw the seamstress program that is set up for the underprivileged women; they too were all so willing to learn and were all very hard workers.


As the day had ended at the program and the youth were leaving, I was provided with many thoughtful goodbyes. I don't think in my life I have ever seen many happier people. I know that they do not have all the privileges I have received in my life, yet they were all so grateful for the littlest of things. These children and the older students taught me so many things just from meeting in that short time period I had with them, and I don't think I wouldn't trade this experience for anything.  

Brok Dixon
University of Utah

 

An inspirational summer!

Raja Ram Mohan Roy, one of India’s  reformers, abolished the practice of sati as he considered it a social evil. However, even after so many years, the societal pressures and stigma that a widow has to face, remains more or less the same. The oppression, exploitation and ostracization that they continue to face in the society, should make us aware of the patriarchal structure that continues to oppress women, and most of all, women who don’t have “men to protect them.”

Luckily, it was the second day of my internship that I had an opportunity to visit Vrindavan and be a part of the inauguration of Maitri’s second shelter home for widows, there.

When employees from Maitri and I started distributing food and fruits to the widows, I realized how important is it to have these organizations, the ones that willingly take up causes that need to be addressed, and selflessly continue to put in efforts to make lives better.

Without Maitri, these widow mothers would have had very limited access to any necessary resources, as most of them are forced to beg or take up sex work. 

In India, within a rigid patriarchal mindset, a woman is oppressed within marital norms, and if the husband dies, it gets worse for her survival. She is devoid of all basic necessities which are beyond understanding.  Often blamed for her husband’s death, the woman is exploited by her in laws and left on her own. The societal stigma is so much that they are left with no other option than solitude. Hence, it becomes necessary to reach out and provide for them.

For a week, I taught children from underprivileged backgrounds, some of them, as young as 2.  It was slightly difficult as these children are in different grades and it was quite a challenge for me.

However, I was able to teach and give homework to all of them, after I brushed off my nervousness. It was a very different experience and a learning opportunity.

Maitri has also collaborated with Teach India, to train young individuals to get jobs after a 3 month course in English; I accompanied these young adults for their annual job fair, and to my delight, most of the students got jobs that day.

In today’s times, possessing the working knowledge of English really helps and I feel that training these adults in the same is very beneficial for their future.

The internship experience was very useful overall, as other than learning a lot of things, I also grasped how to apply the same.  Even if I was accompanying a senior to the field, there was so much to learn and understand how communities and society functions. I was able to recognize as to why access to education is so difficult and even after provision of the same, how much effort it takes to convince the people and make them trust an organization.

The office staff and the other interns are all very friendly and helpful. Not even once did I hesitate to ask a question or for help from anyone. I believe that this kind of positivity in the work environment also makes a big difference.

I want to thank Maitri for giving me this opportunity and making my summer special.

Aiman Khan 

Field Visit

We went and visited one of the rickshaw puller camps this week to get a picture of Maitri’s project  for the annual report; this was my second time going there. Maitri has been working hard to educate the community on how HIV is transmitted, encourage testing for HIV, and to facilitate treatment and counselling afterwards. Other agencies have worked to improve the living conditions in the camps. So much more needs to be done. Fairly simple measures could drastically improve the situation- such as cement or concrete walkways to prevent the large mud puddles that appear any time it rains. I was told this becomes a much larger problem during monsoon season. This is just one example of many. The camps are not just for those employed pulling rickshaws- some of the wives and children live in the camps as well. Most of the children were very outgoing and wanted to have their picture taken, but one young girl decided to stay out of the group pictures- it was a quiet reminder of the unique personality

 

 

 

of every individual. It becomes too easy to group people together around the issue. I left the camp feeling as I did on the first visit- glad that there are agencies working to make a change, overwhelmed at the enormous need that is still present, and grateful for the opportunity I had to meet each individual I interacted with.

The Heart of Maitri

 

I have been with Maitri for close to two months at this point and have been grateful for the experience this internship has given me to learn about another culture and to meet amazing people. The individuals I work with in the office are dedicated and passionate people- and that was the main thing that stood out from this visit to celebrate Holi with the widow mothers at one of Maitri’s facilities in Vrindavan. Throughout the day I noticed several beautiful moments taking place quietly on the side in the midst of the celebration. I witnessed one staff member kneeling down and listening to the stories and concerns of a small group of widow mothers. She was completely focused on the woman speaking and it was evident that although this staff member could not “fix” everything for this woman, it was perhaps just as helpful and healing for her to take the time to listen and to care. Amidst the colors and the flowers I noticed another staff member who made sure to reach out to the widow mothers standing shyly on the side during the dancing to make sure that everyone felt welcome to participate. From dancing alongside these women to serving them a special holiday mid-day meal to just taking the time to offer them a hug and a smile- every interaction was helping to create a picture of what could be and what should be- a society where those who are oppressed, marginalized, or simply forgotten are reminded that they have rights and, just as importantly, that they matter. The dedicated advocates at Maitri are working to make this a reality.

AIDS

It is often difficult to define the beauty of ‘living a life’. It is a definition that is subjective but ultimately I feel the beauty lies in living a life at its fullest. But it is more beautiful to live a life which you think cannot be lived at its fullest. It gives a sense of satisfaction to have lived each day. The happiness lies in having restrained ourselves from the dreadful gates of the graveyard. I guess every individual lives such a life in his regular routine. When you get out of the house, credibility of coming back is vulnerable; when we sleep at night, getting up is vulnerable. So, everything in this world is subject to vulnerability. There is a famous quote in the serial Game of Thrones, “Death may never die”. It is so true. Everything is mortal. We do not know the reason of our death. Sometimes I feel patients suffering from fatal disease like HIV are fortunate enough to estimate their life span. They know that the God of death may soon be ringing the doorbell of their lives. Death is approaching and they live the life the way ‘book of humanity’ preaches. Then tell me who is more fortunate, the ones whose death sentence is uncertain or the ones having it certain. Still rather than spending time happily, we empathize them every day for their disease. Still in various parts of the country, or rather in a macro level, in this world people mock around about the disease. There have been lot of campaigns to create awareness about AIDS but still a social stigma exists in various quarters of the society.

There are about 1.4 to 1.6 million people in India affected by the fatal disease. There are treatments available for people living with HIV/AIDS. If you have HIV/AIDS, you can take combinations of medicines. The drug combinations are designed to strengthen the immune system to keep HIV from developing into AIDS or to relieve AIDS symptoms. But it has been seen that people do not face the disease as courageously as needed. I do not want to communicate the ways anyone gets infected by the disease. Often in all the AIDS campaigns we get to hear that syringes and medical equipment which come in direct contact to the blood should be sterilized after use. But in reality, in some hospitals (do not want to take the name of the hospitals) the basic precautionary measures are not taken care of by the hospital officials, indicating negligence at their level. I was working for a while with an NGO named Maitri as a part of CSR (Corporate social responsibility). I came across an HIV patient named Mohammad Rahil Ahmad, who went for a treatment to XYZ hospital.

Isn’t it unfortunate that by mistake his blood got infected by the virus while he was admitted to cure Pneumonia, through a syringe?

Ambiguity in estimating our life span is realistic. If you are reason for your own death, then it is justifiable. But when our life is defined by the ludicrous activity of others then it is really unfortunate.

So just take care that every time your parlour guy uses a blade, it is a fresh blade and make sure he disposes off the used blades. While in a hospital take care that the syringes, scalpels, scissors etc. are sterilized. 

Most importantly, I would not only ask you to have safe sex but also to practice monogamy. I know people practicing polygamy secretively or polyamory with everyone's consent , but it just makes you more vulnerable. On a crass way I would like to say that, If you can get laid with a girl you just met in the bar, then that doesn't makes you a stud that just makes you sexually exposed to STD.

At this point I also want to spread a word.

There is a cliched sentence 

"if he has multiple woman, he is a stud..

if she has multiple men, she is slut.."

Sorry, but I feel if you cannot practice fidelity then you are also a....!!

https://www.facebook.com/maitriindia.org

To connect to the intern:

Twitter handle: @subramanian1190

Blog address: http://subramanian1190.blogspot.in/2014/11/aids-new-approach-to-look-at-them.html

Domestic violence

Often we get to watch news updates on rapes, kidnapping, molestation etc. on television and other social media platforms but some heinous crimes remain dormant. These are the crimes that are committed and are covered in the warmth of silk that women wear during their marriages. Domestic violence has been staying in society for generations. It is just that the methods have changed but the impelled remains the same.

Domestic violence can take a number of forms including physical, emotional, verbal, economic and sexual abuse, which can range from subtle, coercive forms to marital rape and to violent physical abuse that results in disfigurement or death. There was a time and still exists in various parts of India where section 498a under IPC has been used to avoid economic abuses which indirectly led to physical abuse on women. There are many such cases wherein woman were immolated because of dowry. We call it “sthri dhan” but still in various semi urban and rural areas, women are physically abused for money. Again fantasies are something that everyone dreams to fulfil. It is not wrong to have eerie sexual fantasies but forcing the partner to abide by your fantasies often turns horrendous. There are many other crimes that occur in our society but they never come out because it is all about marriage.

When women were asked the reason of keeping quiet, everyone had the same reason, “mere maike me besthi ho jayegi” (I will not be accepted at my maternal place). Due to this domestic violence often remains quite and the women at the house accepts the violence and abuse as a part of their lives. They are left with post-traumatic stress disorders.

As its said earlier, it will be transferred as legacy through generations because according to Cultivation Theory, a theory given by Professor Gerbner from University of Pennsylvania, we cultures are often accepted with time and the domestic violence does not look any lesser than a television show. So, children see their mother gets beaten up and the male child of the house practices the same during his married life and the female child accepts the submissiveness of her mother as the truth.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-29708612

https://www.facebook.com/maitriindia.org

The families should take more responsibility and be supportive with the girl because if the family leaves in her teetering married life, all she will be left with is pain and sorrow. As a guy I would just say one thing there is no need to accept violence and abuses. Today women are independent, literate and responsible. You do need support but love. To all the women reading this blog, make your parents realize and understand the situation. If they are not ready to accept your condition, approach some NGO. I could suggest one NGO by the name Maitri, which works for the welfare of women suffering from Domestic violence. Recently, I was just browsing through BBC when I got to know about them. Just connect with them in their Facebook page and unleash the myth “if you leave the house then it is disrespect to your parents.”

Again this is one such topic which is changing with time. There have been situations where even male suffer because of these kinds of violence. Situations have been witnessed regularly that females misuse their legal power and rights to make things difficult for decent male community staying in the society. So domestic violence is equally likely, but none believes them because of some known reasons. The cliched dialogue, "Galti ladke ki hi hogi" (It should be the guy who would have done something wrong). There have been many cases under the section 498(a) where in females use there legal rights to forge false cases against their husbands. In these situations too males keep quite because there are not much law that helps them fight for their rights in a legitimate way. Often it is seen these days that 498(a) is misused by unscrouples people in interest of property and maintenance. 

So it is not about just one community suffering because of it. It is just that marriage is a relationship. Relationship is all about 4 vowels out of 5 in the 26 alphabets we use in English. The 5th vowel that is non existent in this word is "U". It does not exist because it is all about U who needs to take care of your relationship. Marriages is not about female providing the emotional support and male providing the protection, it is a friendship, an intimate relationship that needs to be nurtured with time. 

Stop Domestic Violence,

Preach Love,

For more connects with the intern,

Twitter handle: @subramanian1190.

Blog address: http://subramanian1190.blogspot.in/2014/10/domestic-violence.html

Destitute of Widows

Some topics although might sounds to have taken a halt but still are regressive. It was back in the year 1829 when a draconian act like Sati was outlawed under the British Raj in the Bengal Presidency with the help of social reformer Raja Ram Mohan Roy, but still violence against widow has not stopped. In 1997, The Indian Sati Prevention Act was enforced which criminalized any type of aiding, abetting, and even the glorifying of sati practice.

But is that it with widow ladies?

Widows still do not hold much of positive position in India. You must be wondering if what I am saying has any factual backing to it. Maybe at your home you might be taking good care of your grandma but that doesn’t nullifies the social stigma that still exists across the country. With 69 percent of country’s population still under the cover of rural society, this topic needs wider scope of vision for helping the soul who has already lost her most protective mate. One thing I want to say is:

She has just lost her protective soulmate…

Is shunning out of the home her ultimate fate…

I was browsing around the net when I came across this story. Vrindavan, holiest among India’s holy city has more than 15000 widows who have been shunned out of their house because she is a widow (Source: National commission for women). These widows have been turned out by their kith and kin because their children are grown up enough to take care of themselves and do not need the caring hand which taught them the steps to grow. After getting thrown out, these widows were left with nothing but to beg on the streets for food and shelter. Yes, most of the old, lanky women we see in the traffic signals are not those who are the part of the traffic signal beggar’s forum but are those who have been left in destitute and genuinely need help to live. The condition was similar until some NGO by the name Maitri came into picture to help them by providing them shelter, medical assistance, food and proper sanitation. Also Maitri launched a new phase of its work with destitute and abandoned widows in Vrindavan – it started a program to provide nutritious midday meals to about 150 women at a new location, Jagannath Mandir. The NGO also helped them in getting the widow pension. Well appreciated work by the NGO but why an NGO has to come into role for helping someone who once used to be your sweet mother. Immolating has stopped but now the way the widows are treated in various corners of the country is far worse than immolation.

Mind it, shunning out is not just the only way of leaving the widow. Even in the society we stay we do not pay much attention to widows and we are so busy in our lives that widows are left on their own. We are quite busy in our lives and we move with the society and technology, they do not. All they know is that their children are happy somewhere. Often widows make irritating comments because they feel neglected. Wonder of a situation when you are house arrested and nobody talks to you. They do not have their husband to talk to. When youth is busy with their wife and children, it infests a pain of solitude which makes them make foul comments. Human emotions. Jealousy. Whatever you may define.

If you find any old women who is in need of help, do not just ignore them. Kindly redirect them to some NGO. Even I do not know much of NGOs but since the story I mentioned was of Maitri foundation, you can connect to them through their 

Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/maitriindia.org    

For more updates on the intern, get connected at twitter handle: @subramanian1190.

Blog address: http://subramanian1190.blogspot.in/2014/10/destitute-of-widow-in-india.html