AIDS

It is often difficult to define the beauty of ‘living a life’. It is a definition that is subjective but ultimately I feel the beauty lies in living a life at its fullest. But it is more beautiful to live a life which you think cannot be lived at its fullest. It gives a sense of satisfaction to have lived each day. The happiness lies in having restrained ourselves from the dreadful gates of the graveyard. I guess every individual lives such a life in his regular routine. When you get out of the house, credibility of coming back is vulnerable; when we sleep at night, getting up is vulnerable. So, everything in this world is subject to vulnerability. There is a famous quote in the serial Game of Thrones, “Death may never die”. It is so true. Everything is mortal. We do not know the reason of our death. Sometimes I feel patients suffering from fatal disease like HIV are fortunate enough to estimate their life span. They know that the God of death may soon be ringing the doorbell of their lives. Death is approaching and they live the life the way ‘book of humanity’ preaches. Then tell me who is more fortunate, the ones whose death sentence is uncertain or the ones having it certain. Still rather than spending time happily, we empathize them every day for their disease. Still in various parts of the country, or rather in a macro level, in this world people mock around about the disease. There have been lot of campaigns to create awareness about AIDS but still a social stigma exists in various quarters of the society.

There are about 1.4 to 1.6 million people in India affected by the fatal disease. There are treatments available for people living with HIV/AIDS. If you have HIV/AIDS, you can take combinations of medicines. The drug combinations are designed to strengthen the immune system to keep HIV from developing into AIDS or to relieve AIDS symptoms. But it has been seen that people do not face the disease as courageously as needed. I do not want to communicate the ways anyone gets infected by the disease. Often in all the AIDS campaigns we get to hear that syringes and medical equipment which come in direct contact to the blood should be sterilized after use. But in reality, in some hospitals (do not want to take the name of the hospitals) the basic precautionary measures are not taken care of by the hospital officials, indicating negligence at their level. I was working for a while with an NGO named Maitri as a part of CSR (Corporate social responsibility). I came across an HIV patient named Mohammad Rahil Ahmad, who went for a treatment to XYZ hospital.

Isn’t it unfortunate that by mistake his blood got infected by the virus while he was admitted to cure Pneumonia, through a syringe?

Ambiguity in estimating our life span is realistic. If you are reason for your own death, then it is justifiable. But when our life is defined by the ludicrous activity of others then it is really unfortunate.

So just take care that every time your parlour guy uses a blade, it is a fresh blade and make sure he disposes off the used blades. While in a hospital take care that the syringes, scalpels, scissors etc. are sterilized. 

Most importantly, I would not only ask you to have safe sex but also to practice monogamy. I know people practicing polygamy secretively or polyamory with everyone's consent , but it just makes you more vulnerable. On a crass way I would like to say that, If you can get laid with a girl you just met in the bar, then that doesn't makes you a stud that just makes you sexually exposed to STD.

At this point I also want to spread a word.

There is a cliched sentence 

"if he has multiple woman, he is a stud..

if she has multiple men, she is slut.."

Sorry, but I feel if you cannot practice fidelity then you are also a....!!

https://www.facebook.com/maitriindia.org

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Twitter handle: @subramanian1190

Blog address: http://subramanian1190.blogspot.in/2014/11/aids-new-approach-to-look-at-them.html

Domestic violence

Often we get to watch news updates on rapes, kidnapping, molestation etc. on television and other social media platforms but some heinous crimes remain dormant. These are the crimes that are committed and are covered in the warmth of silk that women wear during their marriages. Domestic violence has been staying in society for generations. It is just that the methods have changed but the impelled remains the same.

Domestic violence can take a number of forms including physical, emotional, verbal, economic and sexual abuse, which can range from subtle, coercive forms to marital rape and to violent physical abuse that results in disfigurement or death. There was a time and still exists in various parts of India where section 498a under IPC has been used to avoid economic abuses which indirectly led to physical abuse on women. There are many such cases wherein woman were immolated because of dowry. We call it “sthri dhan” but still in various semi urban and rural areas, women are physically abused for money. Again fantasies are something that everyone dreams to fulfil. It is not wrong to have eerie sexual fantasies but forcing the partner to abide by your fantasies often turns horrendous. There are many other crimes that occur in our society but they never come out because it is all about marriage.

When women were asked the reason of keeping quiet, everyone had the same reason, “mere maike me besthi ho jayegi” (I will not be accepted at my maternal place). Due to this domestic violence often remains quite and the women at the house accepts the violence and abuse as a part of their lives. They are left with post-traumatic stress disorders.

As its said earlier, it will be transferred as legacy through generations because according to Cultivation Theory, a theory given by Professor Gerbner from University of Pennsylvania, we cultures are often accepted with time and the domestic violence does not look any lesser than a television show. So, children see their mother gets beaten up and the male child of the house practices the same during his married life and the female child accepts the submissiveness of her mother as the truth.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-29708612

https://www.facebook.com/maitriindia.org

The families should take more responsibility and be supportive with the girl because if the family leaves in her teetering married life, all she will be left with is pain and sorrow. As a guy I would just say one thing there is no need to accept violence and abuses. Today women are independent, literate and responsible. You do need support but love. To all the women reading this blog, make your parents realize and understand the situation. If they are not ready to accept your condition, approach some NGO. I could suggest one NGO by the name Maitri, which works for the welfare of women suffering from Domestic violence. Recently, I was just browsing through BBC when I got to know about them. Just connect with them in their Facebook page and unleash the myth “if you leave the house then it is disrespect to your parents.”

Again this is one such topic which is changing with time. There have been situations where even male suffer because of these kinds of violence. Situations have been witnessed regularly that females misuse their legal power and rights to make things difficult for decent male community staying in the society. So domestic violence is equally likely, but none believes them because of some known reasons. The cliched dialogue, "Galti ladke ki hi hogi" (It should be the guy who would have done something wrong). There have been many cases under the section 498(a) where in females use there legal rights to forge false cases against their husbands. In these situations too males keep quite because there are not much law that helps them fight for their rights in a legitimate way. Often it is seen these days that 498(a) is misused by unscrouples people in interest of property and maintenance. 

So it is not about just one community suffering because of it. It is just that marriage is a relationship. Relationship is all about 4 vowels out of 5 in the 26 alphabets we use in English. The 5th vowel that is non existent in this word is "U". It does not exist because it is all about U who needs to take care of your relationship. Marriages is not about female providing the emotional support and male providing the protection, it is a friendship, an intimate relationship that needs to be nurtured with time. 

Stop Domestic Violence,

Preach Love,

For more connects with the intern,

Twitter handle: @subramanian1190.

Blog address: http://subramanian1190.blogspot.in/2014/10/domestic-violence.html

Destitute of Widows

Some topics although might sounds to have taken a halt but still are regressive. It was back in the year 1829 when a draconian act like Sati was outlawed under the British Raj in the Bengal Presidency with the help of social reformer Raja Ram Mohan Roy, but still violence against widow has not stopped. In 1997, The Indian Sati Prevention Act was enforced which criminalized any type of aiding, abetting, and even the glorifying of sati practice.

But is that it with widow ladies?

Widows still do not hold much of positive position in India. You must be wondering if what I am saying has any factual backing to it. Maybe at your home you might be taking good care of your grandma but that doesn’t nullifies the social stigma that still exists across the country. With 69 percent of country’s population still under the cover of rural society, this topic needs wider scope of vision for helping the soul who has already lost her most protective mate. One thing I want to say is:

She has just lost her protective soulmate…

Is shunning out of the home her ultimate fate…

I was browsing around the net when I came across this story. Vrindavan, holiest among India’s holy city has more than 15000 widows who have been shunned out of their house because she is a widow (Source: National commission for women). These widows have been turned out by their kith and kin because their children are grown up enough to take care of themselves and do not need the caring hand which taught them the steps to grow. After getting thrown out, these widows were left with nothing but to beg on the streets for food and shelter. Yes, most of the old, lanky women we see in the traffic signals are not those who are the part of the traffic signal beggar’s forum but are those who have been left in destitute and genuinely need help to live. The condition was similar until some NGO by the name Maitri came into picture to help them by providing them shelter, medical assistance, food and proper sanitation. Also Maitri launched a new phase of its work with destitute and abandoned widows in Vrindavan – it started a program to provide nutritious midday meals to about 150 women at a new location, Jagannath Mandir. The NGO also helped them in getting the widow pension. Well appreciated work by the NGO but why an NGO has to come into role for helping someone who once used to be your sweet mother. Immolating has stopped but now the way the widows are treated in various corners of the country is far worse than immolation.

Mind it, shunning out is not just the only way of leaving the widow. Even in the society we stay we do not pay much attention to widows and we are so busy in our lives that widows are left on their own. We are quite busy in our lives and we move with the society and technology, they do not. All they know is that their children are happy somewhere. Often widows make irritating comments because they feel neglected. Wonder of a situation when you are house arrested and nobody talks to you. They do not have their husband to talk to. When youth is busy with their wife and children, it infests a pain of solitude which makes them make foul comments. Human emotions. Jealousy. Whatever you may define.

If you find any old women who is in need of help, do not just ignore them. Kindly redirect them to some NGO. Even I do not know much of NGOs but since the story I mentioned was of Maitri foundation, you can connect to them through their 

Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/maitriindia.org    

For more updates on the intern, get connected at twitter handle: @subramanian1190.

Blog address: http://subramanian1190.blogspot.in/2014/10/destitute-of-widow-in-india.html

A youth on a social spree

There are instances in life when we receive a random phone call from our best friend and that call changes the person within you to an extent that you might even end up visiting an NGO. I was not keen on the visit as I considered it an inconsequential proposal. Sometimes you visit a place because your friend wants you to accompany them and you eventually fall in love with that place. So did I.

I accompanied my friend because of her continuous insistence. I went inside and eased myself in the visiting room while my friend had gone for meeting the authorities. I found a brochure of the foundation and just glanced through it. My friend came back and made me accompany her to a place at Badarpur (Delhi). No option but I accompanied her. 

We entered a one bedroom DDA flat with 600 sq. feet living area. The person who opened the cranky door for us was a 35 year old man with visible signs of illness etched in his face. As we entered I found a child who looked somewhere between 4 and 6 years old. From within came a women in her late 20s with a humble face with folded hands and a graceful look in her eyes. My friend spoke to them while I was busy beaming my eyes across their small matchbox size home. One thing that my friend said consistently was that, “he is good and will be better and inshallah if he takes care well, he will see his grandchildren too”. After half an hour we left their home. At the parking lot before entering the car I asked my friend about the guy. His name was Mohammad Rahil Ahmed, used to work as an Auto driver in West Delhi region but unfortunately got victimized to HIV because of an infected needle that was injected to him when he was hospitalized for Pneumonia at XYZ hospital (name changed). His son was one year old then when he was diagnosed HIV positive. Her wife works as a maid servant. After getting discharged, he often used to fall prey to illness and had low immunity to fight the infections back. During a random free health check-up conducted by Maitri Foundation (where my friend volunteers) he was diagnosed with HIV which made them to suggest proper medical remedy. The foundation also provided them with regular counselling and for the last two years my friend has been assigned to visit the couple every three month to know the status of his health. Although I cursed my friend at the start of the day for taking me but at that very instance when she told me the story I felt proud of her and appreciated her noble cause.

We returned to the foundation. I, once again, glanced through its brochure. I could gauge the human sufferings of people from different strata of the society. With the turn of each page of the brochure of the foundation, I became aware of the activities of the foundation. Maitri was not just involved in problems related to HIV patients but also with elderly welfare, domestic violence and children education. Tears tickled down my cheeks when I read the stories covered in the brochure. I felt as if there is a void left in my life that had to be filled up with a noble activity; an activity that would earn me the blessings of the elderly people, love of children and respect of all the women I have in my life (mother, sister, girlfriend, female friends). I just knocked the door and saw my friend sitting in front of the founder. I just took the enrolment sheet and filled in my details with a humble smile on my face. A smile that made me feel good, mature and contended.

There might be a long NGO list and may be there are a lot of NGO in Delhi, but I like Maitri quite a lot. On 6^thNovember the foundation plans to organize a marathon from Nehru Park for elderly people so that they do not feel left behind in the regular race of life. I am going to help them, how about you. Just have a look at their Facebook page and stay connected to smile at every moment a needy person smiles: https://www.facebook.com/maitriindia.org

Intern's twitter handle for more posts: @subramanian1190

Blog address: http://subramanian1190.blogspot.in/